Do the Holidays stir up hard emotions? This is for you

Do the Holidays stir up hard emotions, This is for you

 

As incredible as the Holidays can be, they can also stir up hard to manage emotions

==>. The Hard Stuff <==

 

Your family dynamic is challenging.  You love them, but it's complicated.

 

Perhaps this is your first year without a loved one.  Or it has been several years, but it does not seem to be getting easier. 

 

Maybe you have a tendency to overindulge during the Holidays and really don't want to have that experience again this year.

==> Tough Family Dynamic <==

 

Be intentional about your thinking and preparation prior to the gathering or interaction.  

 

Remember what God says about you (Psalm 139). 

 

Remind yourself of what He wants you to do in your expression of the fruits of the spirit (Gal 5:16 and Gal 5:22)... 

 

You do not act based on whether the other person "deserves" the fruit of the Spirit

 

Being the fruit of His spirit is what He asks of you, period.  (I know it’s hard)

 

Make a decision to set the mood in the room you enter.  

 

Your energy is your own, you do not react to the energy of others. 

 

Identify what you CAN discuss with this person, what questions you can ask, and focus on their interests. Ask questions, show you care, and be a good listener.

 

==> Loss of a Loved One <==

 

Allow yourself to feel the emotion and give it to God. 

 

Allow the emotion to come up when you feel it coming on. 

 

Take a few minutes to acknowledge it and ask for guidance. 

 

Don't judge your feelings.  Don't minimize them.  Don't numb out with a vice or ignore them.  

 

Allow yourself the grace and love to feel your emotions so that with God's help you can work through them.  

 

It doesn't mean you're going to feel better today, it means you're letting yourself feel the emotion and be in the healing process... numbing, or minimizing the pain only prolongs it.

 

Don't isolate yourself.  Through loneliness and isolation, the enemy works over time against us.  

 

==> Emotional Eating <==

 

Don't "save your calories" for the big family dinner.  you are setting yourself up to eat more than you otherwise would.  Eat "mini-meals" throughout the day before the family meal.

Remember, you have the choice of having whatever you want. Nothing is off limits. 

 

The question is, what do you want the most? 

 

=> You could eat that extra slice of pie and that third plate of stuffing OR you could eat all your favorites in moderation so that you can feel confident, proud, and still have energy tomorrow.  

 

=> Would you prefer a lifestyle that aligns with your long-term goals, or would you rather be in cycles of extreme indulgence followed by extreme restriction or self-hatred? 

 

Remind yourself that you CAN have XYZ at any time.  

 

We tend to overindulge because this is the only time of year we have it ... that only encourages you to eat more, and later feel sick or uncomfortable.  

 

You are a resourceful and strong woman... if you decide you want something again in a week, you can have it.  

 

Pay attention when you are eating and slow down.  Enjoy every bite.  According to some studies, our brain takes 20 minutes to recognize that our body is receiving nourishment.  Therefore, slowing down will help prevent overeating.

Next day, IF you begin to recognize guilt, or "stinkin thinkin," as I call it.  

 

Choose to focus forward, to love and celebrate yourself.  

 

Be grateful for progress, rather than expecting perfection.

 

I hope this helps you navigate the hard stuff this Holiday season. 

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